Final Project: Personal Narrative

Over the past five years the purpose and meaning for my spiritedness has certain into an empathetic, caring, responsible person. I am in the process of fulfilling a mission to help others deal with lifes situations, circumstances, and issues without the use of alcohol and drugs. My life began as the 18th of 20 siblings, which was not an easy assignment for me. I had to h overaged the position as the baby for seven years before my baby sister was born. This was the beginning of the phylogenesis of my personality that I possessed over time through experience and my environment.The infancy stage of my life was filled with glory and gloom as parents and siblings gave praises to me, The scotch. I was always catered to and showered with gifts of love and affection. Until unmatched day, something happened. People was walking by me to get to the baby, this small something which my mother kept bundled up until the next visitor came by with oohs, ahhs, and compliments of praises for it. A s Caldonia replaced my glory, I was determined to be doomed for life. In spite of others sympathy for me, I felt handle something was wrong with me. I developed the sense that I did something wrong, and something was wrong ith me. I had lost confidence in myself and others and trust was broken. I became resentful and felt neglected as if no one loved me any longer. I developed personality traits of introversion/extroversion, friendly/ unfriendly, and became a loner. The fluctuation of my toneings towards the baby, my mother, my family, and the world were internalized feelings of the pain I felt. Feelings of inferiority overwhelmed me. Upon entering head start grade, in early childhood, I developed a different sight with this interactionism with other children.I was taller than my peers and after being picked on by older iblings, I felt like this was my opportunity to stand up to someone. As anxious as I was to be aggressive, I just could not bully the friends that were so small a nd friendly. This humanistic view of motivation, influenced by my mothers voice in Christian discipline statements such as, dont do her like that, that is not fair, play fair and be kind to each other helped shape my personality at this life stage. I developed a personality of conscientiousness from my mother disciplining us on our behavior. As I matured to adolescence, I developed the personality traits of greeableness, and risk taking. By early adolescence I very much agreed with adults when I was told, you are too expectant to play with little Sandra, you are too big to be in ordinal grade and constantly asked, how old are you? I decided to play with the boys and play as the boys. Why not? I was just as big and tall as the boys and was too big to play with girls, as I was told. The schemas of my personality were shaped accordingly. My personal construct was the images of the behaviors that I felt was appropriate from the perspective of my self-image and from others perspective .My life was consistent to Eriksons basic philosophy the world gets bigger as we go along and failure is cumulative. During my early teens, I experienced strong-arm changes, which was natural at this life stage, yet I was uncomfortable with. I had reached puberty. At puberty, I was developing faster than my friends and this fast maturity made me feel uncomfortable with myself again. My father made sexual advances towards me. I then developed a self-concept as worthiness to someone and became promiscuous. At this time other girls were cause and had boyfriends and I was rying so hard to be loved and take backed. By age 15, I became involved with a 20-year-old family friend, three months later we were married. We had a very sightly wedding on my family homes front porch. I was such a beautiful bride. This was the first time that I felt such beauty, since Caldonia was born. I felt the love and warmth of my husband and the wedding congregation. I was loved and accepted.My husband was considerate and kind the first six months, however became violent and abusive. He drank beer only on weekends, and eventually started drinking liquor and wine. By his time I was pregnant with our first child and become a high discipline drop-out. 18 months later I gave birth to our daughter. I was seeking my identity as a wife, mother, and young adult. I was only 18 years old married and had given birth to two children. I was very confused about my individuality and the role to play in my situation. It was easy for me to substitute ideals for experience. aft(prenominal) seven years of nuisance and three children, I could no longer cope. I covered up all of my problems with a new love. I became wedded to crack cocaine. After four years of chasing the igh, I was arrested and sent to jail. I underwent treatment and stayed clean and sober for almost six years and started using again. By this time I am mother of six and in another abusive relationship with the father of my later two children. I had relived my marriage with the selfsame(prenominal) patterns of alcoholism and abuse. I turned again, to the same method of dealing with the circumstances, I started using drugs again. This time my incarceration was longer and required extensive substance abuse treatment. I entered this program with an open-mind and willingness to change. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.Currently, in middle adulthood I am more conscientious and know direction and goals for my life. I contract developed personality traits of being a good mother/grandmother (generativity). I want to help others and I have a gift to give. I am no longer absorbed into the selfishness of myself. According to Harder (2009), based on Eriksons Ego Development Outcome, the significant trade union movement of this stage of life is to perpetuate culture and transmit values through the family (taming the kids) and working to establish a stable environment. The development of my personality has th e responsibility of legion(predicate) counterparts.Factors such as culture, religion, society, family, high and low life-points, and gender has played a role in the shaping of my personality. However, real acceptance of the self has been the most persuasive. My life has had its ups and downs. However, I would not change none of its episodes. I feel as if everything has happened exactly the way it was supposed to happen for me to be in the position I am in today. My mission is to become a Substance Abuse Counselor to help the next person who is struggling with ways to deal with and accept life on lifes terms, as I have.